Tracklist:
- The
Lighthouse
- Dancing
with Lucifer
- Cassandra’s
Mirror
- On the
Road to Babylon
- Paper
Princess
- The
Spider
- The
Wolves
- Venom
and Frustration
- Lonely
Roads
- The
Foreseer
- Cathedral of the Damned
Over the past decade, metal fans
have become used to the sight of symbolic metal acts striving for that rare
spark of inspiration which could be called magic. Whyzdom, a Parisian incarnation of the genre,
are just such a band. But their forthcoming album, Blind?, shows they’re much more besides: Whyzdom are mystic
visionaries, foreseeing the ascent of man to the heavens; they’re intrepid
explorers, discovering magical worlds unknown; and, seemingly, they’re
enthusiastic zoologists, with a passion for wolves and spiders. What they’re not are subtle, concise, or
original.
A good indicator of the
intentions of a band is the length of their songs. On Blind?, it’s a sight to behold: 11 songs,
fully 75 minutes in length (by my reckoning, that makes almost seven minutes
per song). It’s exactly what you’d
expect. Bombast and pomp ring from every
track, while rich female tones prance gleefully amidst a soundscape saturated
in every orchestral sound going.
It’s banal, excessive, and
totally gratuitous. And lest we be
fooled into thinking that a band committed to established musical clichés might
deviate from the accepted formula, Whyzdom’s lyrics say different. Carefully selecting the most worn themes
available to metal, they lead the listener through tales of devils and sold
souls, heartbroken princesses, and fairytale lands of magic.
It often feels harsh criticising
the lyrics of non-English bands.
Fortunately, in this case, there’s no need. In a field bristling with immature poetry,
Whyzdom have distinguished themselves with lyrical guff so awful that it
transcends all linguistic barriers. A
fair chunk of their lines are simply reported speech, telling tales in the tone
of a child recalling their daily routine.
Cramming in words in contempt of rhyme, scan, or even – on occasion –
melody, the transfixed listener is carefully walked through the complexities
signing a pact with the devil (“All you need to do is to give me a signing in
your own blood” – track 2, Dancing with Lucifer) before being introduced to the
lady of the house: “My name is Cassandra” (track 3, Cassandra’s Mirror. Pleased to meet you, Cassandra…).
Where poetry does threaten to
break out, it’s quickly stamped out with a careful selection of flat-footed
metaphors which stomp aimlessly around in increasingly small circles. It’s rare for bands to come up with lyrics
that simultaneously lack subtlety and clarity. Perhaps, one day, Whyzdom’s ability to do so will be interpreted as artistic genius. For the time being, though, they’re left
presenting pale and disingenuous thematic husks; feelings bereft of emotion:
danger without fear, loss without sorrow, betrayal without hate. It’s not long before the lines begin to sag
beneath the weight of their own turgid vacuum.
By track 7, The Wolves, we’re trapped in a nightmare universe of rubbish
riddles. I am in some strange, snowy
world in which the light of moon “flickers”.
Where am I? Apparently, it’s
the place where it’s artistically defensible to describe wolves as “young and
strong and full of rage/Ready to jump on your face”. Twice.
Tottering beneath a tower of
increasingly absurd clichés, not even the most blinkered of optimists could be
blamed for dismissing Blind? as just another symphonic disaster drowning in its
own bravado. But that buzzing in your
ears as the album plays itself out, that’s not the usual tinnitus of metal
mediocrity: it’s the sound of your senses convulsing in guilty pleasure. For, despite everything, Whyzdom have
actually pulled something remarkable out of the bag – an overblown, undisciplined,
and completely un-poetic symphonic metal album which can stand on its own
merits.
Tempting as it is to dismiss it
as an unlikely fluke, it’s an implausible explanation for well over an hour of
music. In reality, success rests on the
strength of some remarkably astute musicianship. If you’re a fan of the genre, you’ll no doubt
be aware of the “turd-polishing” technique employed by bands who adorn tattered
material in orchestral splendour and drapery to hide their own lack of
invention. Whyzdom have gone the full
distance, lovingly fashioning their turd from 24-carrat gold. The sound quality is, unanimously, superb,
from crisp violin runs to crunching brass.
And it’s put to excellent use.
The rousing, rising symphonic harmonies in track 2, Dancing with
Lucifer, sweep the music from its feet.
The intricate interplay of choral chanting and pirouetting strings which
open track 4, The Road to Babylon, send it swirling upwards life a plume of
purple smoke. And the unwinding descent
of strings at the beginning of track 6, The Spider, crawls over the skin
like…well, like a spider.
Even when the music shouldn't work, it does. A thick tangle of deep
piano keys which almost suffocates itself in The Paper Princess is pulled
through by the strength of the tones and the sheer audacity of its
composition. And the same might well be
said of the finale, Cathedral of the Damned, in which a chaos of contrapunctal
choirs descend on the music like flailing bats.
The same carefree flair is displayed in the other musical parts, most
notably guitars, which pull out some truly mind-boggling solos, including a
rollicking rock n’ roll number at the end of The Paper Princess and a
fifteen-second jazz orgasm three tracks later, in Venom and Frustration.
Whyzdom’s real strength, however,
is their ability to synthesise all of their finery into the very fabric of
their musical material. Their orchestras
and choirs do not just shadow the metal instruments in tiring repetition, but
drive the music forward with their own impatient impetus; as for those guitar
solos, they represent the pinnacle of some nifty riffing which weaves itself
around the deep strokes of strings and powerful brass blasts (see, in
particular, track 2, Dancing with Lucifer).
This approach just about justifies the extraordinary length of songs,
which are allowed to develop themes in harmonious unison at a considered and
careful pace (the only aspect of the album, in fact, which could be described
by these words). It’s high praise indeed
to say that songs never seem stretched or lengthy. And the only outstanding criticism would be
that, having thrown up fully ten epics, Whyzdom have nothing to top it off with
in their final track, which is unable to further intensify the atmosphere.
In the end, Whyzdom seem to have
pulled off the impossible, constructing a genuinely masterly record on a
totally rotten formula. Amongst a host
of bands who have tried to crack the symphonic metal code, they are unique only
in that they succeed in doing so. There
are loads of reasons why this album shouldn’t work. By the end of the record, many of them are
absurd to the point of embarrassment.
And yet, for all its pomp, pretension, and pimple-ridden immaturity,
Blind? is enormously, massively, deafeningly entertaining. If nothing else, the band should be
congratulated on managing to write a record which is both the most outstanding
miserable cliché and, at the same time,
the most ill-conceived masterpiece the genre may have ever witnessed. Now that really is magic.
Production: 4/5
Lyrics: 1/5
Album cohesion: 4/5
Music: 8/10
Percentage score: 68%
http://www.facebook.com/WHYZDOMproject?sk=app_2405167945
REVIEW ORIGINALLY SUBMITTED TO DESTRUCTIVE MUSIC
REVIEW ORIGINALLY SUBMITTED TO DESTRUCTIVE MUSIC
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